Strangeness & Charm
by livinginthemoonlight
Summary: Hanna Marin is the best psychiatrist in the state. But when Spencer Hastings, a troubled teen, enters her office, she begins to doubt wether she'll be able to fix her. Spanna pairing.
1. First Dates Never Go Well

**A/N: So this started as a drabble and I decided to make it a multichapter fic. I already have some chapters written and it'll probably be a few chapters only. New chapters will probably be up by Sunday every week. Also, I don't own PLL. Funnily enough this started as a Spoby story and I decided to make it a Spanna pairing. I'm just a huge impossible pairings sucker.**

She looked at her with her shiny blue eyes. "You must be Spencer Hastings."

Spencer licked her lips and gave a terse nod. The woman gestured for her to enter the office and she did. It smelled like cigarretes and leather, and odd mix but not unpleasant. It also smelled faintly of perfume. The room held nothing but a majestic oak desk and a leather couch; no bookshelf, no photos, no decoration, no paintings hanging, no windows.

"Please take a seat." Spencer approached the desk but then the woman gestured to couch. She carefully took a seat, wincing at the crunching sound it made. She was starting to get an idea as to where she was but she didn't want to believe it.

The woman took a chair from the desk and placed it beside her. Now Spencer was very sure that she should be lying on the couch instead of sitting on it.

"Do you know why you're here?" The blonde woman asked her, before taking a seat holding a notepad in her hands.

Spencer shook her head careful to look anywhere but at the woman. The older woman sighed and looked at her for a long time. Neither moved or said anything, and Spencer remained where she was, avoiding her gaze and willing the earth to just swallow her down.

"I'm Dr. Marin, but you can call me Hanna." the woman said at last. Spencer took a peek at her from the corner of her eye. Her gaze seemed honest and she was pretty.

"Why am I here?" she asked, sounding angrier than she intended, but then again she was always angry these days.

"Your parents called me. They said they were concerned about you, and that you seemed to be developing some kind of erratic behavior."

Spencer snorted and Hanna raised an eyebrow. Anything that wasn't perfect seemed erratic to her parents.

"What is it?" she asked, but Spencer had retreated into herself. Her stare was vacant and she didn't blink. She was just faking; she was very much aware of her surroundings, but it always worked with people, especially her parents. That's why Dr. Marin's words surprised her deeply.

"Spencer I know you're faking, look at me." She ignored her.

"Miss Hastings, I've had patients who actually space out, I know what it's like." Silence. "You're doing the eye thing right, but your jaw is clenched and you should've been drooling by now. Also your hands are in tight fists they should be slack."

Spencer blinked in surprise, she was good. She looked at her and she just smiled warmly. She didn't smile back, she just stared rudely at the blonde. The fact that she had looked through her facade angered her very much. The older woman suddenly got up and walked to her desk, returning moments later with a file in her hand.

"So, Spencer Hastings." she began shuffling through it. " 17, attends Rosewood High, straight A's, student council president, field hockey captain, sure choice for valedictorian." She looked at the brunette for confirmation but she just glared at her. "Well, that until you 'spiraled out of control' as your parents quoted." she said smiling. "Your grades dropped, you resigned from your post as president, and got kicked out of the field hockey team for a missing a month's worth of training."

She kept reading the file without saying anything. When she finished reading it she looked at the younguer girl, a pleasant smile on her face. Spencer wanted nothing more than to beat that smile out of her face, it was infuriating.

"Well, all that this tells me is that you were doing well and something threw you off the tracks".

_Well?_ she thought angrily _I was perfect! _

The brunette just kept sating at the blonde as if she were a giant mushroom. Spencer didn't say anything Hanna sighed.

"Look, Spencer. I know you were tricked into coming here, but I want you yo know that you can trust me. I only know your parents version of events, and I know that they tend to overreact, and I would really like to hear _your_ version. I can help you, but you have to let me."

At this Spencer looked down at her tigh fists. Her jaw clenched and she scraped her teeth angrily. Hanna was suddenly afraid she was going to damage them.

"_You can't help me._" she spat out.

"You don't know that." the blonde said reassuringly.

Spencer suddenly looked her square in the eye and Hanna saw a flash of hurt and something else in her brown eyes. It was the firs sign of emotion she'd seen so far apart from anger. She'd been a psychriatist long enough to know that anger is used to hide deeper, darker emotions.

"No one can help me." the younger girl murmured angrily. "No one can undo what- What happened. No one can bring- You just-" she stuttered before shutting her mouth. This intrigued Hanna very much; she had lost control if only for a moment and it had let her glimpse something: A dark event had ocurred that had changed Spencer. But before she could ask anything more, the tall girl stood up, her mask of blind anger back in place.

"Our time is up." she said disdainfully. Hanna was very sure they still had 20 minutes left but knew she wouldn't be able to get anything more out of her today: She had regained control.

"Have a nice day, Spencer. I'll see you tomorrow." she said politely, and that seemed like a bullet straight to the girl's chest. She stopped at the door abruptly, and turned to look at the blonde with pure hatred.

"_Fuck_ off" she said before slamming the door behind her. Hanna just smiled as the office reverberated by the force fo the impact. She stood up, smoothing the nonexistent wrinkles on her pencil skirt and walked to the door. She opened it to reveal a fidgety redhead. "Hello, Anna." she smiled pleasantly while she gestured for her to go in.


	2. The Second Day Is Always Better

**A/N Hello everyone. Thanks for the reviews I really appreciate them. So here's the second chapter which I finished sooner than I expected. I have to stay I'm really enjoying writing a fic about Spanna. It wasn't a ship I had taken interest in until recently. Hopefully you'll keep reading and reviewing (:**

"I'm not going!" Spencer yelled as the insisting knocking on her bedroom door resumed. She buried her head under her pillows, covering her ears with her hands. She noticed with slight satisfaction that she couldn't hear it anymore.

It was time to go meet the shrink, but she didn't feel like it. She found the fact that the appointments were scheduled everyday instead of once a week especially annoying. She was so tired; she had enough with going to school. She hated going to school: All people ever did was stare at her like some three-legged freak. Even her teacher talked to her like she was retarded. _How quick they are to forget I used to be the best of my class._ On top of that she didn't need to spend her afternoons being judged and talking about her feeling. She winced at the thought.

She could go back to all that, being perfect, but it didn't make sense anymore. Not after…

The covers were suddenly yanked off of her. "What the fuck?!" she exclaimed loudly sitting up. Her bedroom door was open and standing before her bed were her mother and older sister. "What do you want?" she asked rudely glaring at them.

"You have an appointment, remember?" her mother asked angrily.

"I told you I'm not going." She answered, once again burying her head under the pillows.

"Spencer!" her mother exclaimed losing her temper, but Spencer just ignored her. She suddenly felt strong hands grasp her arms and she felt herself being yanked off her bed.

"Shit!" she yelled as she hit the floor. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Veronica just stared at her youngest daughter. "Bring her shoes and a hair comb, Melissa." The girl did as she was told, and they both began working on Spencer. Her mother took care of her shoes while her older sister fixed her hair. When they were done they pulled her to her feet.

"I can trust you to walk, can I?" her mother asked tiredly. Melissa walked out of the room and she turned to do the same. Instead of following them Spencer headed in the opposite direction to the bathroom connected to her room. A hand caught her wrist before she could cross the door.

"What do you think you're doing?" Veronica asked.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Spencer replied angrily, trying unsuccessfully to shake her mother's grip off.

"Spencer, stop playing around."

"Play around? I just need to use the bathroom before we go!"

The older woman narrowed her eyes. "Sure. You were probably planning on locking yourself in there to avoid your appointment, now come on." She yanked her out of the room, and Spencer rolled her eyes not bothering to assure her mother she was telling the truth. She let herself be dragged to the car and, as the car sped off and her family tried to make conversation, she willed her eyes to take that unfocused quality that kept everyone at bay. She succeeded, and the rest of the drive was spent in tense silence with not even the radio on.

As the beautiful town of Rosewood rolled by Spencer let her thoughts drift. She was sure of one thing: She hated that woman. She hated absolutely everything about her; her calm blue eyes; the gentle tone of her voice; her warm smile; her beautiful, perfectly manicured, delicate hands; her perfect hair; it all screamed fakeness to her. _She probably acts all charming with all her patients. No wonder she's the best in the state _she thought disdainfully. All she probably cared about was money, after all $300 an hour was kind of excessive.

As the car neared its destination, and as her thoughts kept returning to that blonde, Spencer got angrier and angrier. Who the hell was this woman? How dare she intrude and question Spencer's life? Did she really think she could just barge into it and she would receive her willingly and pour her heart out to _her_? She was everything she detested: Extremely good looking, charming, sweet. The way her eyes shone when she smiled, how she tucked her hair behind her ears in such a delicate gesture. She reminded her too much of-

_NO! _ She couldn't think about it. Not now, not on her way to meet a shrink. And then there was the tone, the damned gentle, soothing tone, as if she were a beast who was about to lose it. She despised her.

All this Spencer thought, and when she arrived at her destination she had such a twisted image of the woman she was half expecting a ghoul or a demon to come out that office. They made it just in time. As soon as they got to the waiting area the door opened, revealing the woman Spencer had such a twisted image of.

"Spencer, I'm glad you came." She greeted warmly, as if she were just visiting her on a sunny spring day.

"Well, I didn't have much of a choice." She spat between clenched teeth. She immediately felt a pinch on her arm, probably from her mother.

"It's good to see you Dr. Marin." Veronica said quickly shooting and apologetic smile at her, clearly trying to redeem her daughter's behavior. Hanna just smiled back.

"Please come in, Spencer."

The brunette cast a glance back toward her mother and sister, assessing her options, trying to weight the possibility of pushing past them and escaping. She figured her chances weren't very high. "Whatever." She sighed in defeat, reluctantly going inside the office. This time she headed straight to the couch, sitting without being asked to. As the day before, Hanna took a chair and placed it beside her.

"How has your day been?" she asked, scribbling something on her notepad.

"Fine." Spencer answered monotonously.

"And school?"

"Fine."

Hanna stopped scribbling and looked at her, chuckling slightly.

"Something funny?" the brunette snapped.

"Is 'fine' going to be your answer to all my questions?" The blonde looked at her pointedly.

"Maybe." She spat, her blood boiling. _Who do you think you are?_

"Don't be angry." Hanna said, noting her stance. _She sure angers easily_ "It's just that 'fine' is a sort of excuse. It's not a feeling, it doesn't tell me anything. It's just a way to politely end a conversation." Spencer didn't say anything. "I just want to know how you feel. Is it really that bad?"

_Yes_ she wanted to answer but deep down she knew it wasn't. Nobody cared for her feelings, not her family, not her friends, not her teacher. Why would a stranger care about them? And yet it was strangely comforting. _ She's a shrink _a voice inside her head said. _It's her job to care about your feelings. It doesn't mean it's genuine. _So she just glared.

The blonde looked down at her notepad, unperturbed. "Your mother called me earlier. She told me you had a small disagreement with one of your peers: Noel Kahn? I believe that's his name."

Spencer snorted: Small disagreement? She'd punched him square in the face.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" The brunette just shrugged her shoulders.

"Why bother? It doesn't change anything."

"Well for one, it sure sounds like an interesting story." Hanna said smiling, and Spencer couldn't keep a small smile from tugging at the corners of her mouth. She quickly erased and replaced it with her now trademark scowl. She fidgeted slightly; she hadn't been lying when she said she needed to use the bathroom earlier. She looked at her watch and noted with irritation that just 10 minutes had passed.

"'Have somewhere else to be?" Hanna joked seeing the younger girl check her watch more times than is permitted by the rules of etiquette.

"Funny." Spencer murmured sarcastically. She felt really tired. She suppressed a yawn but she couldn't keep her eyelids from getting as heavy as rocks. She tried rubbing the sleep out of her eyes but it didn't help much. When she looked up, Hanna was looking at her curiously. The blonde smiled.

"Want some coffee?" she asked. As much as Spencer could use the coffee she still hated the woman, and wanted nothing from her.

"No, I'm fine." She replied, stifling another yawn.

"You know, Spencer. When I first talked to your parents about you I thought I had a pretty good idea of what was going with you." She shook her head. "The way your parents described you, well, it was sort of inaccurate. It was a bit exaggerated, to be honest."

This sparked Spencer's interest, and she looked into the woman's blue eyes trying to guess the truth in all this.

"This is just our second session but-" she stopped herself, and this frustrated Spencer very much. _But what?_ She thought.

"I don't think there is something wrong with you." Hanna said at last. Her gaze fixated somewhere beyond Spencer. "It doesn't seem a drug problem, as your parents thought. You don't seem depressed or suicidal."

The brunette felt her heartbeat increase. _What if she figures it out? _ She thought suddenly nervous. She'd seen 3 other psychiatrists before her; none had been able to guess. But what if she did? She was the best in the state after all.

"I'm not sure about it yet, but all your symptoms indicate some kind of grief."

Spencer's eyes widened in shock. She willed her face to remain neutral but it wasn't really necessary, Hanna wasn't looking at her. The blonde lowered her voice, as if she were talking to herself.

"Funnily enough, your file doesn't mention the passing away of someone close to you. But it all makes sense; you pushing everyone away; your grades dropping; how you keep saying 'It doesn't matter', 'It doesn't change anything.' Perhaps-" Spencer suddenly stood up, effectively interrupting Hanna's rambling.

Her hands were in tight fists, her heart was pounding loudly, and her breathing came in short gasps. She could feel her hands shaking. The blonde looked at her, startled by her sudden action, and Spencer racked her brain for an excuse. She had to cover up her slip up.

"I-I need to use the bathroom." She announced, this not being entirely a lie. She braced herself for what was coming next. Hanna would probably see through her lie, realize she was onto something. She would probably demand her to sit back down and talk, and Spencer wouldn't have a choice but to reveal her deepest secret. Instead Hanna just looked at her calmly and gestured to the left.

"Through that door." Spencer stayed glued to her spot for a moment, not believing her luck. She released a breath she didn't know she'd been holding and headed in the direction Hanna had indicated.

She closed the door of the bathroom and slid down to the floor. She took deep breaths as she tried to calm her pounding heart. The woman had been so close to figuring it out, perhaps she had already. _Calm down _ she thought to herself _she can't know for sure._ She got up and looked at herself in the mirror; at the dark circles under her eyes; at the grim expression; at her cold eyes. After a moment, she figured she should probably go out before the blonde came banging at the door. She quickly relieved herself, and washed her hands.

As her hand grasped the doorknob she had an idea. Perhaps she should wait, see how long it would take for Dr. Marin to lose her temper. _I bet if I wait long enough, her pretty smile will be replaced by a scowl _she thought _I wonder what she'll do when I don't come out. Maybe then she'll show her true self. _So instead of going out, she sat on the floor and waited; and waited; and waited.

After about 20 boring minutes Spencer let out a frustrated sigh. _How long does she plan to wait?_ It was clear she was avoiding the session; there was no doubt about it. So what was she waiting for? _Maybe she left. _But she couldn't know for sure. Finally, curiosity got the best of her and she went back out: The woman was there, sitting on her chair, scribbling on her notepad. This surprised Spencer profoundly, and she stayed where she was for a couple of minutes without comprehending. Hanna hadn't even noticed her. With her head reeling she sat back down, the crunching sound making the blonde look up.

"Are you feeling all right? You were in there pretty long." She said, and Spencer was speechless. Did she just… _ask_ her if she was feeling okay? No lecturing? No punishment? When the brunette didn't answer she frowned. "You're not sick, are you?" Was that _concern_ etched on her beautiful face?

Hanna suddenly got up from her chair and moved to sit beside her on the couch. She placed a hand on her forehead.

"You don't feel warm." She said, and Spencer felt something weird at her touch. Why was she worried about her? No one worried about her. Why would she care for a complete stranger? And why did she feel all warm inside?

Spencer not answering only made Hanna more anxious. "We can end the session if you're not feeling well."

_Yes! _A devilish voice exclaimed inside the younger girl's head. She opened her mouth but no sound came out. She'd seen the expression on those blue eyes, it was _real._ She couldn't lie to her.

"I'm fine." She said at last.

"Are you sure?" Hanna asked, clearly not convinced.

Spencer fought the urge to roll her eyes. It had been a long time since anyone had shown any sort of concern for her and she wasn't used to it anymore. She just nodded instead. Instead of sitting back on her chair, Hanna remained where she was next to Spencer, their bodies almost touching. The brunette gulped; up this close she could smell the woman's perfume, and it was intoxicating. The blonde just stared, waiting for an answer. For once, she wanted the younger girl to break the silence, it would mean progress.

Spencer in turn looked down at her hands, trying not to squirm under the other woman's piercing gaze. The concern evident in her voice had shattered her guard, and she now felt vulnerable. She couldn't hate her anymore, as much as the voice in her head told her to.

"Why didn't you come looking for me?" she finally asked in a small voice.

This question wasn't something Hanna was expecting and, caught off guard, it took her a moment to answer. "What do you mean?"

Spencer lifted her head and looked at her. The woman immediately noticed all the anger was gone from the girl's eyes leaving in its wake something that looked a lot like grief.

"It's just that I… thought you were going to come banging at the door at the first 5 minutes of my absence."

Hanna frowned. "Well, Spencer, you haven't given me reason not to trust you." And after a while "Is that what your parents do?"

Spencer just looked at her, sadness in her eyes. "Every day. They just bang at my door and make me go to school. It's so tiring, you know. I usually can't sleep at night so all I want to do in the morning is keep on sleeping. They don't get that, they don't even say good morning or ask me how I feel or if I had a good night's sleep." Hanna kept listening not being able to tear her gaze away from those brown eyes full of hurt. "Not that I care very much but I always hear them talking shit about me to other people, and I just keep thinking that they don't even try. All they do is send me to doctors and try to medicate me but they've never pointedly asked me what's wrong."

She was now looking hard at the floor trying to contain her tears. Her face reddened slightly and she could feel a sob at the back of her throat. She hated crying in front of other people. Suddenly, she felt a hand on her arm and another one squeeze her hand reassuringly. She looked up to see bright blue eyes staring into her own. For once Dr. Marin wasn't smiling, she was dead serious.

"What happened, Spencer?" Hanna asked slowly.

_Don't tell her!_ The voice in her head exclaimed. But Spencer wasn't so sure about her feelings anymore. _Would it really be that bad? _She thought. Part of her wanted to tell Dr. Marin, just spill everything out for once; take that huge weight off of her. Hanna immediately saw that some sort of inner struggle was taking place on the girl's head, so she just waited. The brunette didn't know what to do and she began to get frustrated. There were two voices in her head now, fighting to take over. In the end she decided to trust Hanna, after all she'd been nothing but nice to her.

She took a deep breath. "S-six months ago-" she began but was suddenly interrupted by urgent knocking. Hanna couldn't keep a frustrated expression from crossing her features.

"Hold that thought." She said as she got up to answer the door.

"Dr. Marin your next appointment is here." Spencer heard her secretary say. She blinked rapidly as if startled out of a trance. Those words had brought her back to reality. Was she really just about to spill her guts to Hanna? To a _shrink_? This was someone whom her parents were paying to "fix" her.

_What was I thinking?_ She thought angrily. _It's her job to get answers out of me._ She had probably imagined the whole 'concern' thing. Hanna didn't care about her; she probably just wanted her parent's money. _I'm such an idiot_. She thought angrily, getting up. She was so done with everyone judging her life. Spencer could now see why the woman was the best psychiatrist in the state; she'd almost made her talk.

Hanna finished talking and turned around to find a furious Spencer.

"What's going on?" she asked utterly confused. _Wasn't she about to tell me something important?_

"Our time is up." She said, as she pushed past the blonde into the waiting area.

"Spencer, it's okay; I rescheduled. We can have another hour today. That is if you feel like it." She ended carefully noticing that Spencer was back to glaring at her like she wanted to rip her head off. She was very confused, she had no idea what was going on; the girl had seemed so open to talk about her feeling 5 minutes ago.

"Well, I don't feel like it." Spencer spat storming out of the building. _Fuck you shrink._ She thought as she stormed out. She had clearly not noticed the hurt in Hanna's eyes or the anguish in her voice.

Left alone, the blonde ran a hand over face. She walked to the couch and retrieved her notepad noting with surprise the blank page; she hadn't written anything regarding Spencer's case today. She'd been so caught up in what the girl was saying and the deep hurt in her eyes that she'd completely forgotten to take notes. She took a deep breath rubbing her eyes. _Remember, Hanna: Never get emotionally involved with a patient._ But there was something about this girl…


	3. Specters

**A/N: First of all I would like to thank everyone for their reviews they make my day. I think it's time I answer back: **

**ShadowsOnTheMoon: I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far, and I promise you'll find out what happened to Spencer soon. The fact that you are reviewing my story is insane! I am a huge fan of your fics!**

**CrissyAvocado: You are onto something. You're so close to guessing part of the story, and I'm glad I've got you hooked. Hopefully you'll stay with me.**

**Luzaleja6: Thanks for the review, you inspired me to update sooner than I had planned! :D**

**A special shout out to ThereAreNoLines who wrote the first review for this story, I am seriously in love with all your stories. Axis is a Spanna legend, and Threads holds a special place in my heart.**

**Anyway, this is a short chapter. It's more of an interlude for what is coming in the next, and it's from Hanna's POV. Hope you enjoy it and keep reviewing (:**

Hanna was completely and utterly confused. She'd just finished her third session with Spencer and it had gone terribly. The girl hadn't spoken at all during the whole hour, no matter how many questions she asked. She had just sat there with her arms crossed, a deathly glare, and unbreakable silence.

Hanna didn't understand what had happened; the day before everything had seemed all right, she had been making progress. She'd gotten the brunette to open up a bit about her feelings and she'd even told her about her life at home. Now, she couldn't even get the girl to utter a sound. It didn't make any sense and it was driving her crazy. That day, she hadn't been able to focus on any of her other patients; Spencer kept popping up in her thoughts.

She didn't get it. She had always been able to make an almost exact diagnosis on the first session, or at least a guess. But not with Spencer, when she'd seen her come in with that angry, closed off attitude she'd thought she was just seeking attention. She'd interviewed her parents before and they had seemed very distant. So when she'd seen her come in wearing designer clothes and expensive perfume, she'd assumed she was the typical attention seeker. But then she'd seen the hurt in her eyes, her defeated posture, and she'd decided she was wrong about the girl.

Back at her house Hanna tossed and turned, thinking it over in her head. Maybe she had missed something. Maybe Spencer suffered from a personality disorder, but something told her that wasn't it either. Perhaps it was just a hunch, but she was sure the girl didn't suffer from mental issues. The word _grief _kept coming to her but there was no proof; no death, no terminal disease, no rejection, nothing. She had tried asking her parents but they weren't much help; they barely knew their daughter.

She didn't know how it had happened but she had ended up at a club, late at night, drinking. Perhaps it was her brown eyes, or her gorgeous hair or the way she looked when she was flustered but Spencer reminded her too much of…

"Another drink please." She told the bartender who eyed her curiously. She knew she was good looking, that was no secret to her. She was used to the staring. She eyed the bartender as she prepared her drink and she had to admit she didn't look bad; she was a short redhead with awesome curves and olive eyes.

_She's not as pretty as Spencer though. _Woah!She stopped herself suddenly. Where had that thought come from? Perhaps it was the alcohol but she suddenly found herself wondering what the younger girl was doing at that moment. _She's probably sleeping._ She thought with finality, erasing Spencer from her thoughts as her drink was handed to her. She downed it rapidly, enjoying the burning sensation running down her chest. She figured it was time to leave, so she got up, taking a moment to steady herself.

"Leaving so soon?" the bartender asked her, almost bashfully. Hanna just shot a smile at her, not trusting herself to say something coherent. She quickly turned in the opposite direction, avoiding the dancing people and trying to find the exit. She finally found it and, as soon as she got out, she took a sharp left, trying to find her car. The drinks she'd just had making the task more complicated than it should have been. The only thing she was sure of what that she'd parked it right beside a dark alley.

After looking around for a while she finally spotted it. She began to walk in that direction and as she got to her car she heard a snap behind her. She turned around to find a clearly intoxicated couple a few paces behind her. They could barely keep their hands off each other as they aimed for the alley. In normal circumstances she wouldn't have cared but this time she stayed glued to her spot.

The man was a handsome blonde, Hanna barely looked at him. Her gaze was fixed on the girl. Her brown locks hid her face as she kissed the guy but Hanna could just make out the dent on her chin. She was moaning loudly as the man's tongue slid down her throat. They went past the motionless blonde barely conscious that she was there.

When they reached the alley, the man immediately pushed the girl up against the wall, sucking on her pulse point. The brunette's hands grasped the guy's head as he moved farther down to her boobs, barely keeping her whimpers at bay.

Hanna just stared in utter shock. Her limbs felt like rocks, she could hear heart beating loudly on her ears, and she couldn't tear her gaze away from the scene. The man, deciding apparently that he wasn't tasting enough flesh, proceeded to tug down the girl's skirt bringing up his knee up between her legs.

The brunette let out a moan that made Hanna blush, and began to tug on the waistband of his jeans, asking him to take them off. The guy quickly began to unbutton them and, as he tugged the zipper down, Hanna was yanked back to reality. She felt an incredible amount of anger flare up inside of her. She clenched her fists, her face flushed red. She quickly stormed toward the couple.

Who was this guy? What did he want with Spencer? And how dare he disrespect her in such away? An _alley_, really? Not even the back of a car or the bed of a cheap hotel? Just a quickie in a cold, damp, dark _alley?_ This infuriated her beyond reason.

She got to them and quickly grabbed the guy's shirt, yanking him off of the girl. Her own strength surprised her.

"What the hell?" the guy exclaimed, looking at her as if she had lost her mind. Hanna just looked at him for a second before she punched him square in the jaw. The guy fell to the ground groaning in pain.

Hanna quickly turned to the brunette. "Are you okay?" she asked gently. She couldn't see her face, it was covered in shadows. The blonde was suddenly, violently pushed out of the way.

"What the fuck idiot? You punched my boyfriend!" Hanna took a step back, utter shock on her face. _What is going on?_ The girl took a step toward the guy and her face was finally illuminated by the moon.

It wasn't her.

Her eyes were green, and her hair a different shade of brown. Before any of them could react, she fled. She got into her car and sped away as if the devil were chasing her. She spent the rest of the night awake, thinking. She hadn't noticed her swollen fist until she'd gotten home. As she clutched a pack of ice against her knuckles her mind reeled.

Why had she been so sure it was Spencer? Why had she done what she'd done? And most importantly, why did she care so much? She spent the night trying to convince herself she would've done the same thing for anyone, but a little voice in her head told her she wouldn't go as far as to lose control. And she had lost control.

As the sun came up and illuminated her beautiful house, she had one question etched on her brain.

Why did the thought of Spencer with a guy bother her so much?

**I'd really appreciate it you left me a review, I love to know what you think. Don't hesitate to PM if you have any suggestions, or prompts! **


	4. Truth Part 1

**So, sorry for the delay. School has been eating away my time. So here's the next chapter it's called 'Truth' and it will be divided into 2 parts. Here's the first. It's called Truth because you'll find out what's up with Spencer. Hope you like it and review **

Spencer breathed in the fresh air. She was at her favorite park, sitting at her favorite bench. The gentle autumn breeze tousled her hair, and the yellowish leaves were falling gracefully around her. The air had that relaxing yet nostalgic quality of another year that's coming to an end. There was a chill in the air, but Spencer wasn't cold.

She ran a hand through the bench, closing her eyes. There was a reason this one was her favorite. It was at this bench that she'd first talked to-

Her phone beeped, she looked down at it and noticed it was a text from Melissa: **Remember you have an appointment at 5**. Spencer rolled her eyes but she couldn't keep the smile away from her face. Her parents had to unexpectedly take a business trip and they would be gone until Monday, so Melissa had been left in charge of her. Since it was only Thursday and she was busy, Melissa had let Spencer drive her own car to the shrink making her swear up and down that she wouldn't bail on it.

Spencer was really grateful that at least her sister trusted her. Even if her parents treated her like trash, she felt safe knowing someone had her back. Or maybe her sister was truly uber busy.

Anyway, she wouldn't miss the appointment for anything in the world. She had enjoyed a little too much the blonde's frustrated expression when she hadn't talked. It made her feel powerful, in control. Dr. Marin could go to hell for all she cared.

She only had to keep it up until Hanna had enough of her. She'd overheard her parents talking the night before while she walked downstairs to get water. From what she'd heard, they had agreed that if thing didn't work out with Dr. Marin they wouldn't send her to another psychiatrist. That was all she had needed to hear and she had felt hopeful as she crept up the stairs silently.

She closed her eyes again, picturing Hanna's frustrated expression. Spencer thought the situation was pretty hilarious; the exasperation on the woman's voice as she called her name for the millionth time; those pleading blue eyes, the creases on her forehead, the anxiousness; her hands holding her own almost begging her to speak. It made Spencer want to laugh out loud.

If she hadn't known better she would've thought Hanna cared. The glint of concern in her eyes almost seemed real and for a second Spencer had thought she'd heard her voice go from pleading to desperate but she knew it was just her. She was seeing in Hanna what she wanted to see: She wanted someone to care, someone to confide in. That someone wasn't Hanna. She was just seeing her own concern for herself mirrored in those beautiful blue eyes. And boy they were beautiful, but then again everything about her was beautiful; her eyes, her hair, her pink soft lips, her hands, the way she looked when she was flustered, her smile, her laugh, her voice, the swell of her breasts peeking from-

She sprang open her eyes as her phone chimed again and yanked her out of her reverie. It was Melissa again. **I mean it Spence, don't be late. Text me when u get there! **She quickly texted her sister some reassuring words. She didn't think too much about what had just crossed her mind, simply shrugging it off. She looked at her watch and reluctantly got up to leave. She didn't want to go just yet but she had to if she wanted to make it on time. She ran a hand through the bench one more time, sighing.

_I wish you were here. I wish you were here to hold me and tell me everything's going to be okay. _She turned around and walked back to her car blinking back tears.

She got to the office 10 minutes early; the streets had been unusually empty. When she went inside, she took a seat at the waiting area. It was composed of a front desk, some really comfortable couches, a plasma tv on a corner, and little tea tables with magazines neatly arranged. It was very nice and relaxing, you could almost forget you were on a shrink's office… if you were not the patient. She looked down at her hands while she waited. She thought about the day before and smiled devilishly. The secretary behind her desk felt slightly fearful when she saw the girl's smile.

"_Spencer, please. You've been sitting there for 40 minutes without saying anything". The brunette just kept looking at her hands. She'd given up on looking the blonde in the eye after she almost felt guilty due to the puppy dog eyes the doctor was giving her._

"_I _want _to help you." Silence "We were fine yesterday, what happened?"_

"_Please I want – I _need _to know." Was she actually pleading?_

"_At least look at me."_

"_Spencer."_

"_Please."_

_Hanna moved to sit beside her on the couch. Spencer was suddenly overwhelmed by her scent. It wasn't just her perfume; it was her clothes, her hair, her body wash. The brunette suddenly wanted to lean in and take a whiff of that intoxicating smell. _Focus! _She leaned away from the doctor scrunching her nose as if suggesting the woman smelled bad. She didn't need to look at her to know she'd hurt her feelings. _Whatever. _Hanna in turn leaned towards her._

"_Spencer, please." She whispered into her ear, and it took every ounce of the brunette's willpower to not shiver._

_Hanna's face was too close; she was facing the other way but she could feel the woman's breath on her neck. It gave her goosebumps and she was suddenly grateful she'd decided to wear a long-sleeved shirt that day."_

"_Please look at me." The blonde tried again against her ear. Spencer was sure if she turned around now their lips would connect and that made her even more uneasy._

_They both stayed that way; Spencer facing the other way, and Hanna breathing into her neck. The brunette thought they were going to stay like that for the rest of the hour when, suddenly, a hand gripped her inner thigh. She gulped softly trying to regain control of her sudden mixed feelings. Another hand started caressing her face._

"_Please look at me." Hanna's voice breathed against her ear. "Please." It was barely a whisper and Spencer suddenly found herself unable to think._

_The thumb caressing her cheek moved to cup her face. She still couldn't form a coherent thought. All she could think about was that hand gripping her thigh and that incredibly sensual voice whispering into her ear. She barely registered Hanna's hand applying slight pressure to her face in order to turn it. When she finally snapped out of her trance her face was merely inches away from meeting the blonde's blue eyes. When they finally did, Spencer quickly shut her eyes. She could feel Hanna's breath on her face; it smelt like mint and something else she couldn't quite get a grasp on. Their faces were so close the tips of their noses touched._

"_Open your eyes." Hanna asked almost desperately. "Spencer."_

_Spencer found herself leaning in without really meaning to. They were close, oh, so close. In that moment the alarm she had set to signal the end of the hour blasted on her phone. She jerked back violently, opening her eyes._

Spencer looked down at the watch on her wrist. It was 5:10 and Hanna hadn't let her in yet. She looked at her secretary questioningly; she was a girl with dark skin and equally dark eyes.

"I'm really sorry, Dr. Marin's running late." She said apologetically.

This surprised Spencer a little. "She's not here yet?" She couldn't help to ask. The secretary shook her head before getting back to her paperwork.

Spencer considered leaving but she decided to wait 10 more minutes. She would be disappointed if the blonde didn't come. She was eager to find out just how desperate Hanna was to make her talk. Yesterday they had almost kissed and it gave her chills just to think about it. Dr. Marin was a very hot woman and Spencer wouldn't have minded to connect their lips and have a taste of them. The only problem was the doctor was probably straight, although something about the way she looked at her ticked her off. It was almost as if her gaydar was pinging.

The door to the waiting area opened, and there was Hanna. At first glance Spencer could see something was not quite right. She quickly turned her face into a scowl but the blonde barely glanced at her and went straight into her office. The brunette raised an eyebrow, slightly perplexed. No smile? No overly sweet greetings?

Since Hanna had barely looked at her, Spencer wasn't sure if she should go in or not. The secretary, seeing her hesitate, motioned for her to go in with an encouraging smile. Spencer didn't find any of this encouraging but went in anyway.

She took her usual spot on the couch and waited while Hanna rummaged around her desk. She seemed agitated, flinging drawers open and rummaging messily through them, clearly looking for something she couldn't find. At last she gave up and, sighing, turned her gaze towards Spencer. The brunette quickly looked away, assuming the same stance as the day before.

"I assume you're not willing to talk, huh?" Hanna said from where she stood at her desk. "Then you probably won't mind if I do some paperwork while you sit there saying nothing." There was a frosty edge to her voice which ticked the girl off. She peeked at the woman and saw that she had effectively begun to work. This was definitely not what she had in mind, but she was determined not to be the one to break the silence. So, instead, she began to observe Hanna at work.

She soon found herself caught up on small details about her: How she scrunched up her nose slightly when she was writing; how cute she looked when she frowned while reading; how delicate and soft her hands seemed; and, most enthralling of all, how her free hand always played with a lock around her neck. Spencer studied it carefully, noticing it for the first time. It was round and silver and it had a certain pattern carved on it that she couldn't quite discern.

A while passed this way; Hanna working, and Spencer watching her every move. Without warning, the blonde looked up and, having caught the brunette looking at her lock, quickly hid it under her shirt. This intrigued the girl very much but she caught the hint and looked away. She was quickly starting to get bored so she reclined on the couch watching the uninteresting ceiling.

"Have you ever been in love?" Hanna's voice startled her and she sat up looking at her. The psychiatrist was looking at her intently, her blue eyes filled with some emotion Spencer couldn't identify. It took her a while but she finally managed to nod. It was all she could do; the blonde had completely caught her off guard.

Hanna smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "I'm sorry if my question startled you. It's just… I've been thinking a lot about love lately and I was curious as to how much someone your age has experienced with it."

Spencer just stared, dumbfounded.

"Have you ever experienced heartbreak?"

She had actually, but she wasn't about to go around talking about her love life to a shrink.

"You don't have to say anything; your eyes give you away."

At the mention of her eyes, Spencer quickly looked away.

"How about true love?" Hanna continued her apparent aimless ramble. She chuckled slightly. "What do we even mean by 'true love'? You meet someone, there's a spark, you instantly connect, and, before you know it, that person's the one. You get married or whatever and you love happily ever after. That's how it's supposed to work right?"

Spencer avoided Hanna's eyes at all costs.

"Well, what if you lose your so-called true love? What happens then? Is there only one person meant for you in this entire world? What if things don't go as planned? What if that person dies before their time? What then?"

They both remained silent for a while. Spencer could feel tears swimming in her eyes.

"You get your heart ripped open, torn into a million pieces; you lose half of yourself; you die inside; you fight to survive, to move on, although every single thing reminds you of them. And that's _it_? For real? That's all you get from '_true love_'?"

A silent tear went down Spencer's cheek. She didn't dare move.

"You know what I think?"

She didn't want to know. This conversation was too painful, too familiar.

"Bullshit. That's what this whole thing is: _Bullshit._"

Hanna's voice cracked at the end. Spencer didn't need to look at her to know the woman was crying. She wiped a tear of her own, gulping, trying to breathe steadily. The blonde's speech had struck a nerve; a very sore one.

She looked at her watch and saw the session was over. She stood up and was about to leave with a word but something stopped her at the door. She couldn't do that, not after the woman had opened up to her. She turned and saw Hanna looking at her intently, tears running down her cheeks. And in that moment Spencer's breath caught in her throat because Hanna looked so breathtakingly beautiful and so… vulnerable. She looked at those blue eyes so full of hurt and, in that moment, she wanted nothing more than to wipe those tears away and take her in her arms. Because she knew exactly what she felt, she knew what it was like. All that she had described, Spencer had felt it. Instead she smiled earning a sad smile from the blonde as well.

"Goodbye, Hanna."

She gently closed the door behind her and, walking to her car, found herself shaking. Starting up the engine, she knew where she had to go. Instead of heading home, she turned the opposite way; to a place she hadn't visited in 6 months.


End file.
